My name is George Morgan and I work for the Congressman. I am a very important and extremely busy individual. The pile of work in my inbox is almost seven inches high. I supervise twelve of his employees who work out of the Congressman’s hometown office. There is no time clock in this office so it is hard for me to keep tack of all of them. In fact, we seem to pay people who never seem to show up and complete their work. Two months ago one of our people quit, and I was still paying him three pay periods later. Good thing it was not my money! It is my job to advise the Congressman and make him look good. It takes tons of reading to do my job well, and I never liked to read even when I attended Dyer County High School.
I got up early this morning to roll into work an hour ahead of time and get everything accomplished quickly before the office got busy. I am responsible for finishing that final draft and research. Today I will be at the office early and finished with my duties before some idiot taxpayer/voter wakes me up with a ringing telephone and some silly question. I hope to get all my work done today. I need to finish analyzing and typing up those final Stimulus Package Bill notes. I have notes and comments all over and I need to make them understandable. I am expected to tell the Congressman how to vote within the next two days. After all, no one expects the Congressman to read this bill; that is why he pays me.
I should get to work, but the boss never visits his hometown anymore so I know I have an hour to spare. I am stopping for an hour at the JaJa Café to get a Dirty Snowman, my new favorite vanilla coffee drink. Since I have extra time I will also have a couple of those delicious Danish at JaJas. This is my miniature view of heaven complete with beautiful women serving me free coffee and pastries. Actually they are not free, but since I have a congressional credit card, it feels free to me.A quick glance at my watch shows me that I am now running an hour late for work Must have talked too long to the people in line. I must have spent too many minutes charming that cute girl behind the counter. I now need to hurry to the office and sit behind that stupid computer terminal Today I will accomplish great amounts of work, including that Stimulus stuff that is so important in saving our Nation.
As I turn on the computer I am torn. The wise decision would be to get to that work that the Congressman needs completed. I need to take out my notes and finish the typing of my recommendation. He needs the decision soon. He was worried about cuts in education and teacher layoffs, and wanted me to find out if the package would cover those items. That topic need more study, and I just can’t find the time to analysis that bill fully. I want to get to the important work of saving our government’s economy; however, my mouse hand clicks on the spider solitary game by habit. Today I will play only ten minutes before I start on the pile of work that is teetering on my desk. Playing this game with one suit is never a challenge for me. I play two suits and on days where I feel much smarter than the rest of the world, like today, I play with all four suits. I must be smarter than most of the world; because I have a government job where I get paid a ton of money to play spider. This morning I got a tremendous amount of work done. I have won ten of my eighteen games of spider.
I would start working on my Stimulus Package homework; however, I am extremely hungry and I will scoot out for an early lunch. The bill is almost nine hundred pages, and most of that I have not read yet. However, the bill will still be on my very expensive mahogany desk when I get back from lunch. I might very well understand it better on a full stomach.My most pleasing and relaxing lunch is always at Abe’s Rib Eye Barn. The Congressman is always worried about his employees having a relaxing lunch. He has told us many times to take our time and eat a proper lunch. It is a thirty-five mile drive, but I have a car and a gas card supplied by congress. It is a magnificent luxury car except for the ugly driver’s side door. I think that congressional seal with the words “For Official Use Only” is just ugly.
Today I want the fourteen-ounce filet as I am so hungry from all that work I completed earlier today. Abe’s salad bar, including the salmon and smoke oysters, is one of the best around. The steak came cooked to perfection, and I had a double chocolate cake for desert. I never know what to tip the friendly cuties who are the servers at Abe’s. I usually just hand them the federal credit card and allow the girls to place their own tip on the receipt.
The only problem going to Abe’s is that I have to pass The Farms Golf Course on the way back to the office. I always feel like crying when I have to drive by the course without playing eighteen. The taxpayers are nice enough to furnish everyone in our office a membership, so the least I can do to be a great American is appear on those greens often and not waste taxpayer money.
There is Stimulus Package work to be completed, but it will still be there later. Right now I need to ride around those links and tiny lakes. My score was a 106, but I work for the government so on my creative score card it appears much closer to the par of 72. I guess today I was about three over. I need to go back to the office but The Farms has a great bartender, Patrick, that mixes concoctions that will make me feel better about losing three of my golf balls in the lake at the ninth hole. I always let Patrick write in his own tip also. It is not my money, and probably not any of my business how much he makes. By the time I finish flirting with the attractive manager who is always working at the corner booth, and leave the club lounge, it is dark.
I need to go to the office, but I also want to get home and sleep. I have had a very long day. There is always more work than I can handle, always more than I want to read. I am going to dial the Congressman and finish this business tonight.
“Yes sir, I am done with my analysis. Been working all day, and that bill is way too long for you to have to read! The bill still has some notes in the margins on some pages that I am not real anyone understands, however, it is a good package that will help the economy in our state turn around immediately. Just go along with all your friends and sign it.”
“Now after that bill is signed by the President, when are ya’ll and your wives leaving for that European Trip?”
“How long will you be gone?”
“That should be a fantastic trip! Seven beautiful cities on the itinerary, and I am sure your wife has always dreamed of celebrating Valentine’s Day in Paris!”
“Don’t worry about a thing I will keep your hometown office humming right along.”
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