MIRRORS on the CEILING

I lost my driving privileges recently for a month, and had to move into a cheap motel near the school where I teach. Please keep reading: I Never have driven drunk and there was no accident! This was a combination a couple speeding tickets, and a car insurance policy that lapsed for two whole days, and an x who learned her angry demeanor from a Marine drill instructor. Some of this was my fault and I take responsibility for those careless actions, and some of this my brain still considers as “being kept down by the MAN!”
What to entitle this blog entry? In writing class we learned that titles are important and can even be loquacious. There were a few other working titles that were considered. (1)“My Unfortunate Incarceration”, A Good Title; however, it was over used by Anthony on Designing Women and it might make most women stop talking to me. They might assume that I really am an X-Con or client as my friend at the Pardons and Paroles Department is required the call them. (2)“My Time in Exile”, I liked this title until my chauffer told me that it made me sound as old as Moses. My eighth grade students think I am that old. A couple students are convinced that I taught Moses some algebra using the desert sand as my chalkboard make that smart whiteboard. So why would I pick a title to brag about my advanced age. I, of course, do not have a real chauffer. That is what I now call a couple friends who might need to drive me somewhere in my own car. Like Blanche DuBois, I am now counting on the kindness of strangers. (3) “My Time Out” was an early title. It told the story and had special meaning as I referee several high school and college sports. Come to think of it, my mother gave the words time out special significance in my early formative years, and that might not be a pleasant memory trail for me to follow.
NOTE TO SELF: In the above paragraph, there are at least five funny ideas and one very unfunny idea for future blogs that need to be put to screen. I must find more time to write.
Once I paid for the room and turned the key I knew Mirrors on the Ceiling would work just fine. This is your average cheap motel that appears in most small towns. This is the type of motel you rent for being with the wrong person at the wrong time. It is a great place to throw a party if you care about your expensive living room furnishings. One look at this motel and I was sure the entire Metro-Narcotics Squad had the address memorized. My father had always used the adjective sleazily to describe such lodgings. I think I have a better understanding of that vocabulary word after my recent stay. The motel is the temporary home of those who break up and need a place to stay until their next payday where they can find a better place! Like maybe a double wide in a noisy trailer park just barely on the wrong side of the tracks.
Actually on a calculator it is a good deal. For the price of 150 a week, I get cable TV, WiFi, and a somewhat clean room. However, the carpet is more worn than the one you would find at the Marriott. It is that dark tight brown woven carpet that motels and fast food establishments use. They mostly use them so that no customer actually can learn how clean or dirty the carpet is without falling into a penitent position. Me I haven’t bothered to kneel yet as I still enjoy mystery in my life.
The cardboard walls were so much thinner than those sturdy walls at the Best Western. Monday, I was glad my neighbor was also watching the WWE so I didn’t feel obligated to turn the TV volume down. I was actually able to mute my sound and still pay close attention to the MIZ-John Cena argument. Which was not near a good or as loud as the argument between the couple in room 11 which was heard at about 2 a.m.
The Wilson World has many more and much sturdier towel racks. I was afraid to hang a wet towel on the one single one wire structure in the five foot square bathroom for fear that management might charge me to fix the entire wall. It already appeared that some other recent tenant might have been charged. I haven’t seen anything that shaky since the swing set in my backyard at age seven.
I was going to ask the owner if they had a gift shop or gym like the Peabody. I wanted to inquire about a Jacuzzi; however, my mom taught me not to make fun of nice people. Thus I kept my questions to myself.
Where I have stayed in the past, I was used to a free continental breakfast or at least a coffee maker in the room. Some place I stayed even supplied donuts with each stay. This motel had a much simpler approach. Why bother about a free breakfast when a convenience store is located just 87 meters down the street. There you are free to buy all the sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits you want to eat for breakfast.
They did have one feature that I don’t remember as being standard at the Hilton. Plenty of great mirrors abound in this room. Mirrors all the way around the bed! The headboard and the footboard were made up of huge mirrors. One mirrored closet area ran the whole length of the bed while on the other side the king size mirrors were attached to the dresser. The biggest mirror was on the ceiling. This mirror was bigger in perimeter and area than the double bed below it. My phone rang the first night and I could see the display light in five directions. Unfortunately, none of these bright views helped me quickly locate my phone in the strange room. This mirror thing is a great idea! I used the mirrors every single night and morning. I now wonder why all motel rooms and all bedrooms don’t employ this feature. We all need many mirrors around our beds. It gives you a great positive feeling, and they are extremely useful when you need to straighten your tie! Yes, I used those mirrors often to straighten my tie, and I was glad they had been mounted on all the walls and especially the ceiling for that intended purpose!